Sonnet (A Feeeelthy Valentine for Lady Luck)

I’m ready if you’re ready, Lady Luck!
Come jerk my gawddamned wires from the wall,
and fling me to the floor, there you can shuck
me free from clothing – we can go AWOL
together, scream like banshees at the moon,
and fuck like dogs on mortuary lawns
so loudly that the dead wake from their swoon
and line up for ya, all like eager johns!
I’m REALLY ready, skank me long and slow –
’til all my fellow jailbirds start to swear!
Let’s even give the fuckin’ stars a show
without constricting timecard underwear!
You like it down and dirty – like the swine?
Then Lady Luck, come be my valentine!

To My Twitter Crush

I fear I’ll catch her by surprise –
dear god, the way she’ll roll her eyes –
when I say “it’s your smile and thighs
I wank to, every gawddamn night!”

I’m sure it’s not the thing to say
to Twitter friends you’d like to lay
and irrigate with such a spray
of fine, white cream without delay!

I’ve heard that sixty-three years old
is not so hot – or so I’m told –
but she’s so fine, her smile so bold,
my balls churn more than I can hold!

I’d better keep my damn mouth shut!
Am I a rooster, here to strut
this Twitterverse of teasing butt?
Well, maybe. Gawd – I’m gonna nut!